Oh I went there... I never played the original bully. Not because I thought it was an inferior game or not worth my time. No that months video game coffers were emptied on some good ole' fashioned Japanese soft core porn (more specifically Dead or Alive Ultimate). Now however that Bully has been refurbished and retooled for a 360 and Wii *scholarship* (COUGH port COUGH) edition.
Bully places you in the prepubescent shoes of 15 year old Jimmy Hopkins. Jimmy is dropped off at Bullworth boarding school so that his uncaring mother and octogenarian sugar step daddy can have a year long cruise (Complete with hot, sexy and quite messy old people humping...I guess.) You'll meet the school's administration (one of those old-school hard asses who gets off on making little kids lick his shoes clean...than steps on their heads saying "Builds character boy!")
After being told how much you suck and are worthless (hey sounds like my ex-girlfriend!) you'll be introduced to your room in the boy's dorm and your "friend" Gary. Now Gary reminded me a lot of me in my school years: motivated, good looking, sociopathic, scornful, deceitful, cynical and wants to take over the world. (A real go-getter like I was....ah good times). Gary will help you start out in this school and get acquainted with all the subsets of scholastic life.
Bully works in days. You wake up at 8:00 and your first class is around 9:00 till around 11:00.
There's both a morning and afternoon class (cause we all know you needed help in school due to your "specialness".) Now you can elect to become a unlearned mongrel bastard and skip class (this is called truancy...new vocab word for your crossword puzzles). In order to complete many missions you'll need to commit truancy of at least one class during the day.
This is all well and good, Skip class and pantie raid the girls dorm (not that I would know anything about that...)
That is until those bastard prick prefects or your average idiot bully decides to mess with you. See if any prefect catches you out of class they'll throw your ass right back into it. This gets to be one of those "MOTHERFUCKERGODAMNPREFECTBITCHASSHOLEI'LLKILLYOUANDYOURWHOLEFAMILYTOO!!!ARGH!"
moments. Whenever you get caught by any joe schome prefect just pissing in the wind you've failed you mission (Good bye dear sweet panties!!) and are forced to start that mission over again. The most annoying part is the fact that time is measured so quickly in game you never have a substantial amount of "free time" to accomplish a goal worry free. So you are doomed to a vicious cycle of alcohol, drugs and cheap whores.....oh wait thats my life, sorry. Suffice to say you'll be replaying missions often.
I'm not going to knock bully gameplay wise for having last gen controls...because it's a last gen game. It's kinda like being angry at grandpa for being an anti-Semite grand dragon (Lvl 35 with 5 points magic resistance and double roll ability!) of the KKK (krispy kreme klub...duh) It won't really get you anywhere and the old bastard's going to die and burn in hell anyway...wait where was I?
Oh yes!....the fickle bitch that is know as a load screen. Whenever you open a door, take a class, get your ass kicked or breath you'll see a load screen. considering how big the game is (bigger than your mom!......damn it) it's a justifiable annoyance, however the game freezing isn't. The game froze multiple times while I was playing it for no particular reason...other than what I can surmise as being a poor port job....Or Microsoft just fucking with me again...because we all know how funny that Red Rings of Death prank was!!
For all it's cracked skin and old people smell, bully is a good game. If you played the original and really want to try out the 10 or so new things it includes go ahead...freak. If you never played the original bully however and are looking for a good sandbox game with a few rough edges, go ahead and pick this up (at the low low price of 50!). Have fun making out with geeky girls and (if your back door swings that way) a couple of guys who just want some bros to hang out and play with....in more greasy ways than one.....hell you get an achievement for it.
Bully places you in the prepubescent shoes of 15 year old Jimmy Hopkins. Jimmy is dropped off at Bullworth boarding school so that his uncaring mother and octogenarian sugar step daddy can have a year long cruise (Complete with hot, sexy and quite messy old people humping...I guess.) You'll meet the school's administration (one of those old-school hard asses who gets off on making little kids lick his shoes clean...than steps on their heads saying "Builds character boy!")
After being told how much you suck and are worthless (hey sounds like my ex-girlfriend!) you'll be introduced to your room in the boy's dorm and your "friend" Gary. Now Gary reminded me a lot of me in my school years: motivated, good looking, sociopathic, scornful, deceitful, cynical and wants to take over the world. (A real go-getter like I was....ah good times). Gary will help you start out in this school and get acquainted with all the subsets of scholastic life.
Bully works in days. You wake up at 8:00 and your first class is around 9:00 till around 11:00.
There's both a morning and afternoon class (cause we all know you needed help in school due to your "specialness".) Now you can elect to become a unlearned mongrel bastard and skip class (this is called truancy...new vocab word for your crossword puzzles). In order to complete many missions you'll need to commit truancy of at least one class during the day.
This is all well and good, Skip class and pantie raid the girls dorm (not that I would know anything about that...)
That is until those bastard prick prefects or your average idiot bully decides to mess with you. See if any prefect catches you out of class they'll throw your ass right back into it. This gets to be one of those "MOTHERFUCKERGODAMNPREFECTBITCHASSHOLEI'LLKILLYOUANDYOURWHOLEFAMILYTOO!!!ARGH!"
moments. Whenever you get caught by any joe schome prefect just pissing in the wind you've failed you mission (Good bye dear sweet panties!!) and are forced to start that mission over again. The most annoying part is the fact that time is measured so quickly in game you never have a substantial amount of "free time" to accomplish a goal worry free. So you are doomed to a vicious cycle of alcohol, drugs and cheap whores.....oh wait thats my life, sorry. Suffice to say you'll be replaying missions often.
I'm not going to knock bully gameplay wise for having last gen controls...because it's a last gen game. It's kinda like being angry at grandpa for being an anti-Semite grand dragon (Lvl 35 with 5 points magic resistance and double roll ability!) of the KKK (krispy kreme klub...duh) It won't really get you anywhere and the old bastard's going to die and burn in hell anyway...wait where was I?
Oh yes!....the fickle bitch that is know as a load screen. Whenever you open a door, take a class, get your ass kicked or breath you'll see a load screen. considering how big the game is (bigger than your mom!......damn it) it's a justifiable annoyance, however the game freezing isn't. The game froze multiple times while I was playing it for no particular reason...other than what I can surmise as being a poor port job....Or Microsoft just fucking with me again...because we all know how funny that Red Rings of Death prank was!!
For all it's cracked skin and old people smell, bully is a good game. If you played the original and really want to try out the 10 or so new things it includes go ahead...freak. If you never played the original bully however and are looking for a good sandbox game with a few rough edges, go ahead and pick this up (at the low low price of 50!). Have fun making out with geeky girls and (if your back door swings that way) a couple of guys who just want some bros to hang out and play with....in more greasy ways than one.....hell you get an achievement for it.
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