So Microsoft actually did something right and got my x-box to me faster than I expected.......So I'm just checking to see if the ground has burst forth giving way to the demon apocalypse.
However even if Microsoft has fulfilled one apocalyptic prophecy all is not lost! We have mediocre futuristic battlefield wannabes to play and keep us comfort as demons rape us up the bum for eternity YEA!!!
Frontlines takes place in a what if future of high oil prices and wars for energy resources.(Sounds...oddly familiar...)The single player demo had you as an unnamed solider for the KICKASS AMERICAN COALITION(or something close to that) invading thisisnotafghanistanstan to "free" it's oil reserve from THE DIRTY EVIL COMMIES BASTARDS WHO WILL NOT DIE(close enough. It's been up for awhile...go try and play it). Now lets jump into the multiplayer demo on KAOS' dedicated servers...or try to.
Being that this is a Multiplayer Demo I've decided to enlist the help of my straight gangsta home skillet G Onlaught7 (Microsoft forgot to put the s in). Me and him decided to roll up in this bitch and see if it was worth our 24 inch rims...yo.
For the first match I didn't know if Onlaught was in the room or not. In fact if it wasn't for names like "MOTHERHUMPER", "ILIKEPOOP" and my favorite "JAYREZIZPWNU" I would have thought I was in a bot match. See Frontlines won't let you talk to anyone unless you join a "squad" and since teamwork doesn't exist in online gaming (same as how women don't) your going to be humming Fleetwood Mac (or Fifty cent homes) to yourself often.
So me and my main boi hopped onto private chat and attempted to capture an objective. (Which ended up with us being blown up by a small rc toy car...straped with C4 explosives).
I think here is where I should go over Frontlines "how the hell did anyone approve this POS control scheme." In order to sprint you must hold the RB bumper (remember that trigger that reloads IN EVERY OTHER FRICKING GAME!!!). It's quite funny to try and use a shotgun or assault rifle. kaos' "dedicated" (ha right!)servers don't like you cappin bitches. The bullet lag is so bad I had to empty a shotgun clip point blank...just so the guy could turn around and pistol me to death...like the bitch I am.
Don't even try to pilot a vehicle, unless you like running into trees and being blown up by the one weapon that works-automatic lock on RPGS-that EVERYONE uses. However My partner in crime Onlaught7 Jizzle wanted to roll up on da bloods in our crip copter (I like the assonance there). now I didn't personally fly the copter, I only hung off the bottom firing the mini gun pretending I was a Heavyweapons guy in TF2...you know a good game.
Which leads me to why I am trying to sound like a poor inner city youth looking for a dolla dolla bill yo. Frontlines is ghetto. It rips off from so many other games who do mutliplayer so much better (GOW, HALO, GRAW, RAINBOW SIX, BARBIE STRIPPER FRENZY..just to name a few). This game has a few interesting parts to it, all poorly executed in design and gameplay...I'm looking at your remote controlled bomb car!. I would expect to find Frontlines in the backroom of a Chinese restaurant which sells bootleg versions of movies and games....of course if I could get this game,Top Gun(staring Tom Cruise) and some eggrolls for only $10.00 I'd consider it a bargain...if they threw in a pair of plastic wrapped panties I would be in pervert heaven.
2 comments:
pure lolz, I didn't care much of the demo either... not worth $60 at all nor at $10 either. I'd take the tom cruise and those egg rolls any day over this. The site I had set up was o.k.... which was just a blogspot site set up to look like a gaming site(not really)... who knows what will happen there... but thanks.
I don't know if you noticed but my site was abducted, killed, dumped in a river, found, killed again, burned, and was found again by moi... so.. uh... basically... the site was at one time gone but is back is up and running again but on a more basic premise.
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